I’m all about picking up knowledge from wherever you can. Education and cultural awareness are invaluable. Unfortunately, the former has fallen prey to non-educators making education law, politics, and parents who would rather their kids be sailed through school instead of actually getting an education. Cultural awareness has fallen victim to a general lack of quality “pop” to be aware of.
|Pictured: Quality Pop-duh-doo|
That being said, you have to be really careful what your young kids hear. One minute everything’s fine, then suddenly they will say something offensive, vulgar, or just completely off the wall. “Mom and Dad” get left looking dumbfounded while other parents look on with that “I can’t believe they say things like that around their child” expression on their faces. All you can really do is stand there basking in the smug satisfaction that their kids will do the same thing to them one day. That’s called Parental Karma, and it is a beautiful thing.
Sean is always saying something we are a little unprepared for. Usually it’s just a harmless phrase like “You have GOT to be kidding me” or “Now you’ve got the hang of it!” He has also picked up “What the What?” That really could be a lot worse, but it’s only a step away. I know where he got this one: Adventure Time. It’s one of those shows on Cartoon Network that is so unbelievably weird that I love it. I’m always up for Adventure Time when it’s on. Hey, I’m picking up new lingo too! It’s awesome to call somebody a “clump.” I’m not sure why…probably just because Jake the Dog has the same voice as Bender from Futurama.
|If I had a penny for every time someone went crazy hopped up on magical energy... I'd be Abraham Lincoln.|
The best one yet came just the other night. There is an outlet mall in our hometown, and we went to bum around for the evening. As you walk in, they have this big fountain that kids use as a wishing well. I have Sean a penny, and he tossed it in. He said “My wish is to go to Heaven.” That’s a wise wish, and one that requires the something that all kids have and all adults need more of: faith. I was proud and reflective for the handful of seconds after he announced his wish. Then came the follow up. Sean looked at his mom and me and with a straight face said, “But first you’ll need to kill me.”
It was hilariously morbid. I had to explain that it was wrong to kill people, in fact God was so adamant about it that He officially commanded that we not do it. Plus, while Heaven is by all accounts a pretty sweet place, he had lots to do before it will be time to go there. Thankfully my answer seemed to satisfy him because he gave me his normal “Oh” and proceeded to ask why Banana Republic doesn’t sell bananas.
It’s a relief to not have to conjure up my inner Charles Bronson just to grant wishes. It would have it’s uses though…
|Less annoying than a blue Robin Williams with a mustache that is twice as deadly.|